Ever feel like this?
I don't want redemption from any human being except myself. Redeem thyself!!
lol 
God is great. God is good... God walks by us all the time and we often miss him.
Like PKD's "shabby Christ" we find the love of God smiling through the suffering and pain.

One man looks at a dying bird and thinks there's nothing but unanswered pain. That death's got the final word, it's laughing at him. Another man sees that same bird, feels the glory, feels something smiling through it.  "Thin Red Line" PVT Witt